It's getting close to the holidays and it is times like this I really think about my nanny a lot. She is always in my heart and mind but there are times more than others that I really think about her. Her and my pappow got married eight days after I was born so she has been my hero pretty much my whole life. She was the one I turned to when I was having problems in life or just wanted someone to talk to. She wasn't only a great grandparent but a great friend as well. I didn't think I would ever lose her, or not as soon as it happened. The cancer was found around October of 06. She went through many treatments and surgeries to remove the cancer and once thought they got it all. Boy were they wrong. The cancer spread all throughout her body and took her life on March 7, 2007. The last few days of her life were really tough on me. I went to the hospital for the first time to see her since she was admitted and couldn't handle it. She told me I was her first grand baby and always would be her special little girl. I broke down and just cried on her shoulder for a while. She told me not to worry that she would be ok but something told me she was just trying to make me feel better.
I didn't go back to see her for a couple of days because they told me she had gotten worse and I just couldn't bare to see her in that kind of pain. Well a couple days after that my pappow called us and said she was good as new up talking and eating and everything. So my mom took me up there to see her. When we got to the hospital my pappow told me I wouldn't want to go in the room and that she had taken a turn for the worst. When he took me in I took one look at her and walked out. I couldn't even talk to her or tell her I loved her for the last time. She looked like a little helpless body just gasping for her last breath. My pappow held me out in the hallway and told me I didn't have to go in and that she knew I loved her.
It was the next day at school that I had a text message when I got out and to my car. My mom text me and told me to call her as soon as I got out. I knew what had happened. I called and she told me nanny had died and everyone was over at pappows house. I had to go pick up my little sister from the elementary and tell her and be strong because I didn't want her to see how upset I was. When we got to pappows I sat in his recliner with him and just cried and rocked. That was one of the hardest days of my life.
Last christmas was the first christmas I spent without her and it was very rough on me. It didn't feel normal and I didn't like it at all. She will always be in my mind and heart. She was the most beautiful woman to me and now she's the most beautiful angel. I wasn't going to write this at first because I knew it would make me sad but then I had this feeling that she would want me to and she kept me strong throughout me writing in.I know she is always smiling down on me.
I Love you nanny and miss you so much!
I didn't go back to see her for a couple of days because they told me she had gotten worse and I just couldn't bare to see her in that kind of pain. Well a couple days after that my pappow called us and said she was good as new up talking and eating and everything. So my mom took me up there to see her. When we got to the hospital my pappow told me I wouldn't want to go in the room and that she had taken a turn for the worst. When he took me in I took one look at her and walked out. I couldn't even talk to her or tell her I loved her for the last time. She looked like a little helpless body just gasping for her last breath. My pappow held me out in the hallway and told me I didn't have to go in and that she knew I loved her.
It was the next day at school that I had a text message when I got out and to my car. My mom text me and told me to call her as soon as I got out. I knew what had happened. I called and she told me nanny had died and everyone was over at pappows house. I had to go pick up my little sister from the elementary and tell her and be strong because I didn't want her to see how upset I was. When we got to pappows I sat in his recliner with him and just cried and rocked. That was one of the hardest days of my life.
Last christmas was the first christmas I spent without her and it was very rough on me. It didn't feel normal and I didn't like it at all. She will always be in my mind and heart. She was the most beautiful woman to me and now she's the most beautiful angel. I wasn't going to write this at first because I knew it would make me sad but then I had this feeling that she would want me to and she kept me strong throughout me writing in.I know she is always smiling down on me.
I Love you nanny and miss you so much!
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